The story of.. Po

5:53pm Wednesday 02nd May 2012 I didnt think it could happen. I didnt know I could be at a loss for words. But you surprised me.. And You did happen.. Po.. :) -blabbed-

The odd thing

2:43am Wednesday
04th April 2012

You know what's the odd thing. It is 2+am in the morning. I took my flu medicine at 9+pm because my body is wrecked with all the aches of a fllu and fever. Yet, I am awake at this time.. Having trouble going back to sleep. Aiyah!

I have a couple more hours to go before I really have to get up and go for a course.. Oh gosh, is this how my day offs are going to be?? Darn it.

Ok, I have to admit, I'm feeling really sick. Yet, I can't help my brain going at a hundred miles an hour, thinking about stuff that I shouldn't or needn't be thinking about. What to do? I feel like going downstairs for a hot bowl of fish ball soup right about now. LOL.. It's the getting up to change and walking down that's got my body in total objection. LOL..

Seriously, maybe it'll do me good to get something warm in my tummy. Hmmmmmm..



I've got you on my mind
A certain feeling that isn't letting me go
I can't help feeling this way
I know I'm not supposed to

You have a thousand things on your mind
And I wish you the best in your journey
You're just setting up to soar
And I know you can do that much more

I wish to tell you how proud it is
To see you strive for your goals
And to hold you tenderly
When you were feeling so blue

Yes I'm still torn
By the joy I found in you
But I'm not allowing myself to
Tell you all that I can offer

I wish you the best
I hope you find someone good
It might not be me
As long you are happy.





-Blabbed-

Ponder ponder

4:50pm Tuesday
28th March 2012

Someone told me about this movie. I spent about 3 days downloading it. Although it wasn't completed, I managed to watch it last night. It started to make me think again; About our asian culture and just how comfortable we are being "out". Yeah, it's a story about 2 women. LOL!

It also made me ponder about what MZ said about her culture in another country. She doesn't feel the same in SG. Hmmmmmmm... Not surprising, actually. Oh well, just bits and pieces of my musings.

I've been getting caught in the rain over and over again. It shouldn't come as a surprise and that I'm not recovering from this perpetual flu, cough and phlegm. Ewwwwww..

Looking forward to learning something new tonight! :)




-Blabbed-

Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be..

1:29am Tuesday
27th March 2012

I have this tendency to blog late at night/early in the morning when I want to talk about what's happened. It's already The Next Day. :)

Suntanning right after work made me feel as if I'm 18 all over again. Sleep deprivation was a secondary issue as I looked forward to hanging out with the Stylo and the Neslo. :D It turned out to be worth the lack of sleep. Chili's was worth the weight in fats! :)

I also met up with another friend at night and shared about someone I recently started thinking about. Well, I realised that we were both having certain feelings for that same person (MZ). To cut the long story short, I don't want to pursue my intentions further. I would rather keep my friendship with DMH and wish her well with MZ. What surprised me about the whole incident was the fact that I actually felt something for MZ. Recent events had made me pretty wary of putting my heart in anyone or anything. :) It's good to know that I can still feel the stirrings of emotions. :)

It's a good day. Tomorrow's retreat day with T2. Looking forward to that too!




-Blabbed-

When You Believe

5:03am Thursday
08th March 2012

It's been an occupying week since last Saturday. Why do I say that? I've been immersed in a flurry of events. From riding up to PD over the weekend to a fun night rideout with the ladies, to supporting MZ for her singing competition tonight (or was that considered last night?) In a way, I've made a lot out of the swopped shift with PTY. Well, I'm paying her back this weekend so I'm hoping for the best.

After going through some of the articles in the positively-positive website, I decided to take one of the writer's advice in creating a daily 'Thank You' box. Everyday, I should write down at least 5 things that I am thankful for. Just these past 2 days, I realised that I have more than 5 things that I'm glad and thankful for. That's good! It also made me realise something profound. That God is up there, watching over the steps that I'm taking, hearing my prayers of serenity, courage and wisdom. And He had guided me without me realising it. I am glad. I am very thankful for these past few days of events. I am also very surprised by the strength in me to have seen through the plans I'd made. Coffee might have had something to do with it, though I'm pretty certain that the positive energy has a bigger part to play. So tonight, this post is about giving thanks.

Thank You, to You-up-there, to the people I have in my life, for the happiness I've had the chance to experience. :)




-Blabbed-

Unearthly Hour

4:57am Saturday
03rd March 2012

Who wakes up at unearthly hours to ride at least 4 hours for a holiday?

Me.


Still, I am looking forward to it. :) Port Dickson: Here I come!




-Blabbed-

Positively soul-searching

10:24am Friday
02nd March 2012

I've learnt that posting from my iphone does funky stuff to my paragraphing. :)

This morning I followed a link from a friend's fb post and it turned out to be pretty soul searching. Here's the link: http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/01/14/50-lessons-i-wish-i-had-learned-earlier-blog/

People share their experiences and thoughts on this blog space. It's truly inspiring. One lady who survived cancer spoke of her 'before' and 'after'. These are the moments that I question myself on my priorities and dreams. In most ways, I am reflecting on what they said and how I am viewing certain things right now. Really, it comes down to one thing: If I can let go. If I can do so and move on, I know I'll be able to apply whatever pointers this lady shared. After all, do I need to take another 20 years to decide that I could end up writing a similar article on '50 things I wish I knew'? Those who have been through it are sharing their lessons now. Why bang my head against the wall over and over again? :)



-Blabbed-

I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, your desire

4:59pm Thursday
01st March 2012

Why the odd title? It's the line that Bananrama was singing on Class 95 when I started this post. LOL! I was wondering what to blog about (since it seems my brain isnt functioning well) and my fingers followed the tune on the radio.

2 of my friends share the same birth date and the same year. That's today. The really odd thing is.. They have very different personalities. Does it have anything to do with one being a guy and the other a girl? The girl I know to be loud and funny. Ok, I shall say both are similar in that sense. But that's it. The similarities end there. I think the girl is quite sensible in terms of how she plans to spend her $$. The guy.. Ermmm.. has a serious issue with lying. Especially with his girlfriend, or is it ex-girlfriend now? I've lost track. Well, he's still my friend after all.

I think I'm really having PMS. Urghhhhhhhh.. If I can liken it to going to a really bad concert? Ok, so, you're all hyped up waiting for the star to start the performance (the fluster and mix of emotions,P.M.S.) and when the star comes on stage and starts to sing, it's as good as screeching into the mike.. Owwwww (the pain).. and you realise that the concert is for the next 2 hours with no intermission and all the exits are locked (i.e. you don't have a choice but to suffer for the next few days or a week).  Fuzzy logic..



-Blabbed-

Of Kopi(s) and Teh(s)

4:51am Wednesday
29th February 2012

If anyone were to ask me how I ushered in the 29th day of February, I'd say it was over a matter of Kopi and Teh.. I didn't realise it till I got home. Funny how some things have become so inconsequential when you 've experienced it for the last.. 30 years.. I've been listening to the hype of this special day on the radio, simply because it happens only once in 4 years?

A commonly asked question: So how do people who are born on the 29th of February celebrate their birthdays? Seriously, I don't know how to answer that.

I digress. My point is, we are so used to certain things that it doesn't really matter to us anymore. Is that sad? Sometimes, I think it is. Maybe that's why we need to learn to give thanks. To be grateful for the things we have and experienced. Even now, we are still experiencing leap years. How many more would we have?




-Blabbed-

Weary

12:47am Tuesday
28th February 2012

Today has been a particularly weary day. With 4 hours of sleep and out for the next 10 hours, it shouldnt come as a surprise. Part of me had already started feeling the creeping tendrils of emotion earlier. Wow.. It must mean I still have a heart! Cynical humour..

My body is going through the motions,
While my mind is forbidding my heart the emotions.
Where it once was,
It now is filled with remorse.

Those times, they will fade as memories will,
With new beginnings, everyday I'll fill.
It may never be the me that I once knew,
It may never be the dreams I once thought I'd fulfilled.

Still, the world turns and the flowers whilt,
And when they do, a seed will bloom.
Another of earth's beauty will be revealed.
In time, it will all come full circle.

Another long long long day tomorrow..

God, Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change those I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace,
Taking, as He did, this sinful world,
As it is, not as I would have it,
Trusting that He will make all things right, If I surrender to His will,
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him,
Forever in the next. Amen
Reinhold Niebur



-Blabbed-

Can Life Begin Again At 30?

4:48am Saturday

25th February 2012



How did I come up with this topic? It has to do with the last 2 days of my week.



Yesterday, I dreamt that I woke up late for my futsal clinic. I made an excuse to myself and skipped the lesson. It was supposed to be 4pm in my dream. When I really awoke, it was 2:21pm. Part of me was surprised that I managed to wake up, barely in time. Another was already formulating an excuse (just like in my dream) to get more shut-eye. I didn't regret pulling myself out of bed after all. Yes, I was so tired. Yes, I was late. And yes, somehow I managed to make it in time for the group photo before the clinic actually started.



When the ball got rolling, literally, I found myself getting into the groove of the moment and thoroughly enjoyed the friendly matches. Any remnants of my sleepy haze were shooed away by my Kopitiam Kopi Kah-Tai. We had some pretty good goals; a fantastic first point from NL who shot one in the net from the centre of the court. Pretty awesome power!



I brought my camera thinking that if I was too tired to play, I could help snap some photos. Well, we had more than enough photographers. :) AH was snapping a photo when M ND shot a ball straight at her. It was pretty hilarious as the court was pretty big for M ND to have accidentally hit AH and the camera right in the face.



I got my chance to play with my camera when the matches ended. Some of the girls decided to continue playing so I got some shots that I'll edit and share.



As luck would have it, MS asked if I wanted to go to Timbre after the game. Of course! I was just thinking about it a couple of days ago! The band, Goodfellas, were simply... Awesome! They managed to play Party Rock Anthem and actually rapped. The bartender was shuffling on the bar top. How cool is that?? As the night wound to a close, the songs got slower and slower. My budding migraine failed to stop the fruitful day. J



This morning was another of those “Should I get up and go?” ones. Still, it has proven to be another enjoyable day. After going to DK’s, I went to meet HN for my haircut. Happy that I’ve gotten my mop trimmed and it doesn’t feel so thick now. If I could flip my hair, I would! LOL..



The interesting thing about tonight was a very very good meet-up with TSA and SLT. I gained some very fascinating insights and my self-reflection brought me to the title of this blog. Yes, that is what it’s about. Life Can Begin Again. I am glad for those hours that I’d spent today.



Companionship. It doesn’t mean you have to get married or settle down with someone to be able to feel it. I recently re-read an article which highlighted about finding a partner to walk with you through this journey. I am thankful for the company I have to walk with me through this time. I am glad to be able to share such moments; where my footprints will fade with the sands of time.



Thank You for opening my eyes and mind to the possibilities that are waiting to be explored.



-Blabbed-

An overcast

4:43pm Wednesday
22nd February 2012

The sky is an overcast gray as I peer out my window. Got woken up from sleep by a funny watsapp message. It's a good way to start the day.. or night? :D

Now listening to Jason Mraz's "I won't give up" on 95fm. Somehow it seems.. Today's pleasant.. Lol!

I read a couple of articles last night while trying to keep my brain from turning to mush. Interesting stuff about positivity. And you know what are some of the things that are similiar with other articles I've read? "Set Goals, start with small Goals".. "Hang around with motivators", not people who make you feel worse.. Interesting isn't it? Different approaches to a similar subject. Yet, they turn out not to be so different after all.

Yes, I'm recovering from the whole jing-bang-sh*t of the last 2 months. It's a roller coaster ride on some days and smooth sailing on others. Slowly but surely, I'll get through this. I'll re-discover the passions I'd meant to pursue in those bygone years. I may have discarded those years, but I'm not ready to give in the rest of my life to the hopelessness. So here's to life, here's to me!




-Blabbed-

When times are good and bad

3:00pm Tuesday
21st February 2012

I had a good dinner, or should I call it supper, last night. Met up with JY to chat and discuss some stuff over Taiwanese food. Yum yum.. Not bad.. Why do they like pork floss so much? Shrimp fried rice with pork floss. Sweet and salty.. Kind of an acquired taste. LOL.. Then there's also the battered brinjal with Pork Floss.. Hmmmmm..

Was clearing my email inbox with a staggering 1100+ messages. Yes, I think I haven't cleared it for a year? Geez.. It's eye-opening to know that I had forsaken a lotttttttttttt of stuff over the past couple of years. I don't know if I should mourn for the lost time and lost emotions or to be glad that I am actually doing something about it now.

While clearing my messages, I saw the email that PP sent. I steeled myself for the emotions that would follow. Yes, they came. And yes, I managed to read the whole letter without falling apart. Well, what can I say? Whoever the person was in that letter, didn't seem to be the person who seemed eager for me to be out of her life. Ironic.. I don't know which to believe.

Either people change over the years, or do they actually stay the same but pretend to be something else, in order to fit into the current circumstances? Questions, questions..

I don't want to spend too much time on that now. A million and one things that I can do with my time. The beauty of technology is that I can open several tabs on IE and bounce around the topics I'm searching for. LOL..





-Blabbed-

7:49pm Monday
20th February 2012

Ok, I was wrong about the movie part. Nothing has caught my eye in the list of movies. :( Oh well, a good dinner will suffice.

:)


-Blabbed-

Kick start to the New Year?

7:32pm Monday
20th February 2012

You know the funny thing is, I was so tempted to start blogging with an angry post. When I think about it, I realised that I don't want to start this blog with horrible feelings. :)

The surprising thing about today? I got home pretty late in the morning. Was supposed to have a team dinner but I overslept (gasp!) and later found out that the dinner was cancelled anyway. 2 of my team members got called-in, just like I was, yesterday. (There I said it, I was called-in yesterday). Lol!

When I woke up at 5:45pm, I was rolling around in bed assuming that it was only 3pm in the afternoon. Imagine the jump start I had when I turned and saw my clock. Oh well, for a moment I was wondering if I should head to DK's. Then I realised that I've not had the luxury of spending FREE time as I wished, for the last 2 months.

Having said that, I am now having my sloth day on a rainy Monday evening. How good is that? I'm contemplating a good movie and a good meal accompanied by a good walk. Let's go Public! (or rather, legs) So many good stuffs. It's a good night. :)

Laundry done, bills done. I'm happy. :)





-Blabbed-